You see him for the first time and you can feel a little spark inside you. All of a sudden, your stomach is doing backflips as you try to figure out why. It’s a strange feeling, but one that you recognize, because you’ve felt it before. It’s the feeling you get when you are first attracted to someone, and the best thing that can happen after that is having him being attracted to you, too. But don’t let that feeling alone drag you into a relationship that you know isn’t right for you, even with the “spark”.
Things aren’t always what they seem, and people aren’t either, especially in the beginning. That’s why you need to go slow in any new relationship. Take time to get to know a potential partner. Listen to what they tell you about themselves, then check it out for yourself.
He’s great to look at and that’s what attracted you to him in the first place. But if he has some bad habits to go along with those good looks, you may want to set your sights on someone else.
Does he have a job? If not, why not? When you ask him about it and he gets a little sheepish and vague with his answer, that red flag may be a warning that he is either not responsible or just lazy. When you ask him about going to his place for a change, instead of yours, does he always have an excuse of why that’s not a good idea?
As you search to answer that question and you find out that he is still living with his mother, then you know you are in trouble. You are involved with a “mama’s boy” who will probably turn out to be more trouble than he’s worth. All these things speak volumes about what type of person he is, and if you are smart, you will steer clear of him.
Find someone who has a job, a place of his own and some self-respect. He may not have that spark burning as bright within you, but his being self-sufficient and reliable counts for something. Let him show you why you should be with him. You may just find out that his good qualities are enough to make him attractive to you. The chemistry between you will continue to grow, and although not burning hot like the other guy, this is the person who will care for you and be the one you can depend on.
Sometimes the spark that comes on too strong in the beginning fizzles out quickly and the slow and steady burn is the better choice.